Post by GoVoysGo on Oct 13, 2014 1:15:30 GMT -5
These boards will be used for the weekly power rankings. I thought it would be nice to suggest how this league appears to shape up ahead of this upcoming season. I will be posting the weekly power rankings in one part each week, from now on. There will be no bottom half first part, also known as the glass half full half, nor the MC Hammer second portion (Too Legit too Quit). If you get offended that is OK we weren't going to spend Christmas together anyways.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 GRAND RAPIDS GOATS (1) 1-0
What does a powerhouse do in their first matchup, generally speaking? Do they go out and get a solid win? Do they keep the game close and barely sneak out a win? Do they LOSE?
NO!
Adam Stier's Grand Rapids Goats are no powerhouse by accident. They make their mark (painfully punny) by blowing out their first matchup. Were they the highest ranked scorer? Not a chance; not even top two. But that doesn't matter; all that matters is the W, and this advice can be given to both teams 3 and 4, who both seemed to toot their own horns a little too much this week. Next week, you face last season's champion, and rival, Hamilton Huskies, who are pretty much the only team that you worry about heading into the matchup. You have reason to. He scored more than you this week. That might happen next week. That might not. It's probably one of those two. I'm making this too long, goddamnit.
MVP: Sidney Crosby - 2 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (2 PPA) • 40.0 FPTS
Reason for hope: Sharvit benched two shutouts (and I'm never letting that go). That might happen next week. That might not. It's definitely one of those two.
#2 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 1-0
Mr. Sharvit, you are lucky to get this win, furthermore against the preseason ranked 6th team! Benching TWO shutouts, despite being completely active? Wow, that is just some poor managing (dumb luck).
Next week, you face the big kahuna. Two shutouts could really give you a good shot of beating the Goats... but don't bench them
MVP: Victor Hedman - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 3 HIT • 4 BLK • 35.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: You will somehow find a way to beat Stier, like you always do. No, seriously. I don't get it.
#3 DALLAS DIAMONDS (6) 0-1
Woah.
Somehow, the Dallas Diamonds nearly snatched a huge upset win over the reigning champs in Hamilton. This ranking does not come solely from the fact that they were the second best scorer, nor their amazing (rolls eyes) roster, but the fact that they took on the challenge that is Adam Sharvit and nearly stuck it to the man. Well done sir!
MVP: Johnny Boychuk - 2 GP • 4 A (3 PPA) • 2 HIT • 5 BLK • 38 FPTS... stellar pick up, by the way. If you do not attempt to trade him while he is still hot, you will be shamed forevermore. No, I don't want him.
Reason for hope: You may not come in last after all!
#4 SEATTLE BLAZERS (2) 0-1
I'd be shocked if anyone didn't want to punch me in the face for ranking Seattle ahead of Red Deer. But honestly, there isn't a big question of which team played better last week.
STILL, THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOUR PLAYERS ARE ON THE BENCH!
Oy vey, Clint was right. You are the king of laziness bahahahaha. Next week, you face the lowest scorer from this past week. If you will ever get a shot at redemption, it is now, young man. Still, you deserve that loss, asshole.
MVP: Patric Hornqvist - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 2 A (2 PPA) • 26.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: There is a Power Rankings writer who seems to like you a lot.
#5 RED DEER BLADES (4) 1-0
This was a messy week for Red Deer. Seriously. You damn well know that you are lucky that your opposition this week was an incompetent owner who half the time doesn't know what he's doing. The sun don't shine up the same dog's ass every week.
You've got some work cut out for you.
That being said, you still kept the score close the whole time and earned a solid comeback victory. Lets see if you can continue the winning ways this upcoming week against the team that proved everyone wrong and nearly upset the outgoing champions in their banner-raising home-opener (Isaac's Dallas Diamonds, btw).
MVP: Jonathan Tavares - 2 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 4 A (2 PPA) • 27.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: Your team can only get so injured before you will need to start trading for some fresh legs. That time may be near. Prepare now.
#6 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (5) 0-1
Um...
There is a saying: when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I have absolutely no clue what it means. I don't even think it's relevant.
Oh, right. Milwaukee.
You were the lowest scorer this week. I think that kind of speaks for itself.
Also you crushed me at NHL 15 today. Over. And over. And over. I'm not giving you any sympathy this week.
MVP: Radim Vrbata - 2 GP • 2 G (1 PPG) • 1 A (1 PPA) • 28.3 FPTS
Reason for hope: You are in a good spot for the Connor McDavid sweepskates!
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 GRAND RAPIDS GOATS (1) 1-0
What does a powerhouse do in their first matchup, generally speaking? Do they go out and get a solid win? Do they keep the game close and barely sneak out a win? Do they LOSE?
NO!
Adam Stier's Grand Rapids Goats are no powerhouse by accident. They make their mark (painfully punny) by blowing out their first matchup. Were they the highest ranked scorer? Not a chance; not even top two. But that doesn't matter; all that matters is the W, and this advice can be given to both teams 3 and 4, who both seemed to toot their own horns a little too much this week. Next week, you face last season's champion, and rival, Hamilton Huskies, who are pretty much the only team that you worry about heading into the matchup. You have reason to. He scored more than you this week. That might happen next week. That might not. It's probably one of those two. I'm making this too long, goddamnit.
MVP: Sidney Crosby - 2 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (2 PPA) • 40.0 FPTS
Reason for hope: Sharvit benched two shutouts (and I'm never letting that go). That might happen next week. That might not. It's definitely one of those two.
#2 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 1-0
Mr. Sharvit, you are lucky to get this win, furthermore against the preseason ranked 6th team! Benching TWO shutouts, despite being completely active? Wow, that is just some poor managing (dumb luck).
Next week, you face the big kahuna. Two shutouts could really give you a good shot of beating the Goats... but don't bench them
MVP: Victor Hedman - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 3 HIT • 4 BLK • 35.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: You will somehow find a way to beat Stier, like you always do. No, seriously. I don't get it.
#3 DALLAS DIAMONDS (6) 0-1
Woah.
Somehow, the Dallas Diamonds nearly snatched a huge upset win over the reigning champs in Hamilton. This ranking does not come solely from the fact that they were the second best scorer, nor their amazing (rolls eyes) roster, but the fact that they took on the challenge that is Adam Sharvit and nearly stuck it to the man. Well done sir!
MVP: Johnny Boychuk - 2 GP • 4 A (3 PPA) • 2 HIT • 5 BLK • 38 FPTS... stellar pick up, by the way. If you do not attempt to trade him while he is still hot, you will be shamed forevermore. No, I don't want him.
Reason for hope: You may not come in last after all!
#4 SEATTLE BLAZERS (2) 0-1
I'd be shocked if anyone didn't want to punch me in the face for ranking Seattle ahead of Red Deer. But honestly, there isn't a big question of which team played better last week.
STILL, THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOUR PLAYERS ARE ON THE BENCH!
Oy vey, Clint was right. You are the king of laziness bahahahaha. Next week, you face the lowest scorer from this past week. If you will ever get a shot at redemption, it is now, young man. Still, you deserve that loss, asshole.
MVP: Patric Hornqvist - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 2 A (2 PPA) • 26.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: There is a Power Rankings writer who seems to like you a lot.
#5 RED DEER BLADES (4) 1-0
This was a messy week for Red Deer. Seriously. You damn well know that you are lucky that your opposition this week was an incompetent owner who half the time doesn't know what he's doing. The sun don't shine up the same dog's ass every week.
You've got some work cut out for you.
That being said, you still kept the score close the whole time and earned a solid comeback victory. Lets see if you can continue the winning ways this upcoming week against the team that proved everyone wrong and nearly upset the outgoing champions in their banner-raising home-opener (Isaac's Dallas Diamonds, btw).
MVP: Jonathan Tavares - 2 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 4 A (2 PPA) • 27.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: Your team can only get so injured before you will need to start trading for some fresh legs. That time may be near. Prepare now.
#6 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (5) 0-1
Um...
There is a saying: when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I have absolutely no clue what it means. I don't even think it's relevant.
Oh, right. Milwaukee.
You were the lowest scorer this week. I think that kind of speaks for itself.
Also you crushed me at NHL 15 today. Over. And over. And over. I'm not giving you any sympathy this week.
MVP: Radim Vrbata - 2 GP • 2 G (1 PPG) • 1 A (1 PPA) • 28.3 FPTS
Reason for hope: You are in a good spot for the Connor McDavid sweepskates!