Post by GoVoysGo on Dec 28, 2015 0:36:58 GMT -5
These boards will be used for the weekly power rankings. I thought it would be nice to suggest how this league appears to shape up ahead of this upcoming season. I will be posting the weekly power rankings in one part each week. There will be no bottom half first part, also known as the glass half full half, nor the MC Hammer second portion (Too Legit too Quit). If you get offended that is OK we weren't going to spend Christmas together anyways.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
Throughout the season, I will the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
Along with a weekly Most Valuable Player, there will be a Least Valuable Player included for each team as well, from now on. Like the MVP, the LVP isn't simply the most/least fantasy points achieved on the week. If a depth player performs near the top of the team, then they may be awarded the MVP; likewise, if a superstar has an off week, they may end up being the team donkey. It is almost entirely subjective, but within reason. I may target a player for being clutch (or not being clutch) in a close matchup towards the end of the week. If your favourite player isn't picked, go tell Ron Wilson, and he'll tell you about how inconsistent they are. I don't want to hear it. NOTE: FOR WEEK 11, DUE TO THE ARTICLE BEING A WEEK LATE, I WILL ONLY PROVIDE THE NAME OF THE MVPS AND LVPS — NOT THEIR STATS. IF THIS UPSETS YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
And finally, please have fun with this special midway point power ranking as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 (1) GRAND RAPIDS GOATS • 9-2
And it's wide right!
Ouch. That one's gotta hurt. The Grand Rapids Goats cede victory to divisional rival Guelph, closing out the very successful first half of the regular season on perhaps a sour note. The trade-mobile keeps on chugging as interim GM Rob Surrey has likely gained owner Adam Stier's confidence at this point. Thus far, nearly all of Surrey's little projects — see Datsyuk, Landeskog, MacKinnon, Duchene, Suter, Gaudreau, Henrik and Daniel Sedin, Wheeler... the list goes on — have panned out, while Jugs owner Daniel Ronel continues to pull out his hair.
The G's put up a fierce fight, placing second in scoring last week, and it's clear that this competitive style hockey is no stranger to the fans, and hasn't been for years.
Stier has gone on record about how happy he is to have Surrey, but some experts are warning the manager that there are positions other than centre.
Next up, it's the Christmas matchup! That means halfway through, everyone takes a long-ass break (like an intermission, but over several days). Oh fun. The Goats and their opposition in Mars, Pennsylvania are surging and should put on a feast of a match.
MVP: Alex Steen
LVP: John Tavares
Reason for hope: I heard Chinese food is a good pregame meal and movies during intermissions are good for the mental aspect of the game.
#2 (2) HAMILTON HUSKIES • 8-3
The Sharvit Squad does everything right this week, but barely slides away with one that should've been much easier than it was.
Thanks to late surges from Jason Spezza and Tyler Seguin, the North Korea Komodos tacked on an extra hundo-ten points, pulling within less than 40 points. Still, I imagine Special K (coach Jerry Krotz) heads into the break feeling good about his team.
Now 8-3, the Hamilton Huskies are looking comfortable, but a lottery spot is only five games back, and any Leafs fan can tell you how easy it is for a team to turn into "an 18-wheeler going right off a cliff."
GM Jon Baloney must be dying of laughter by now. For the life of me, I can't understand how every trade he makes, no matter how lopsided it looks, ends up a winner. Every expert out there will tell you the same; JB will trade for underperforming players right as they experience a slight bump in performance. Other GMs — notably James McEnroy of Portland — have tried to mimic this practice, but none can replicate to nearly the same magnitude.
Also, Rasmus Ristolainen. I mean, my god.
Next week, Hamilton and the Gryphons will have a slugfest, continuing a recently borne rivalry. It would be exciting if the players took to the ice for more than half the week.
MVP: Rockstar Ovechkin
LVP: Three-way tie between Claude Giroux, Hanky, and the Phil
Reason for hope: Word on the street is that owner Adam Sharvit might not be updating since he'll be spending a ridiculous amount of time at his day job: he staples people, or something.
#3 (5) MARS MARTIANS • 6-5
That was godawful. But Portland is Portland, so take the victory and be glad this was your down week.
Coach Ratchet Poy tried a new breakout strategy this matchup, and I'm willing to bet he won't be using it much more. Borrowing from the Quebec Nordiques' playbook, Poy would have the defenceman pass the puck to the left winger along the left boards, who would skate towards centre ice and drop-pass the puck to the centreman crossing behind him. The left winger skates past the middle and beelines for the right boards, while the right winger crosses him en route to the middle of the ice right at the offensive blue line. Here, the centreman, trailing with the puck, would headman it up to the right winger, advancing into the zone. The last pass proved to be the problem, however. Nearly every single time, the Jugs would get a stick in the way and deflect the pass. Jugs coach Ed Nolan changed his strategy for the last third of the game, instructing one defenceman to charge forward and intercept the pass completely. The Juggernauts ended the game with 143 interceptions, a professional hockey record.
Still, Mars is a good team and Portland is all kinds of mess, and the universe balanced out Poy's errors.
GM Steve Xzerman has become acting team owner while incumbent Isaac Reich is away on vacation, doing totally legal things that he is old enough to do. So far, 'Stevie-X' finds it to be "the easiest job I've ever had. My only responsibility is to yell at myself and Ratch, and I already do the former to begin with, so..."
With Guelph also taking one (defeating the Goats), the two teams remain deadlocked in the race for third. Here, I've given Mars the edge for no reason other than that I felt like it.
Next up, the M's faces the Sharvit Squad for like two days. Fucking Christmas.
MVP: Roberto Luongo
LVP: Drew Doughty
Reason for hope: Despite being a tiny little shit Pennsylvania town, Mars has been mostly selling out, which is good, because owner Isaac Reich has blown a lot of money on totally legal things on his vacation.
#4 (3) GUELPH GRYPHONS • 6-5
Oh man, this team is gonna fall hard. And it's gonna be amazing.
Guelph sneaks a W to stay tied with the Martians, defeating the league-leading Grand Rapids Goats.
Live by the Bruins. That's Guelph.
Die by the Bruins. They'll see.
On top of an unsustainable shooting percentage comes a powerplay unit that is overperforming. It'll be fun to watch real-life Boston crash and burn, and it'll be fun to watch the Gryphons follow suit.
Jugs' owner Daniel Ronel must be killing himself waiting for this to happen, where he hopes his team will swoop in and attend the spring fling, taking the fourth — and final — spot.
For now, though, good job to general manager Ron Heaney.
Connor McDavid looks to be out until the all-star break. It remains to be seen if the kid is really Rick DiPietro dressed up as a kid; 'CMac' broke his arm in a fight in juniors last year, missing the better part of the second half of the season.
Next up: Hamilton! Owner Ryan Balter will get plenty of time with 'Bae', cause Christmas. Yeah, I'm not a fan of the break, as I imagine you picked up on.
MVP: ITS THE TARASENK-SHOW!
LVP: Jared Spurgeon (he should be averaging 20+ fantasy points per game)
Reason for hope: While McDavid is still injured, Balter has bounced back well from a concussion earlier this season.
#5 (4) PORTLAND JUGGERNAUTS • 3-8
Seriously, what the bloody hell.
All the Joel Wards, and the Mikkel Boedkers, and the Elias Lindholms, and the Max Domis, and the Dylan Larkins, and the Artemi Panarins… they’re all coming back down to earth. All at the same time. It’s a warfield out there.
It has very clearly shown, as the Jugs lost all three matches since the last power rankings, bringing their losing streak up to five in a row. This with updating! What the bloody hell!
James McEnroy already started cutting his losses, releasing Ward and Lindholm, and trading Domi. For now, it appears that he is giving Larkin and Panarin the benefit of the doubt, but has already spoken to Boedker face-to-face and appears very likely to cut him in the near future.
Meanwhile, stars PK Subban and Nicklas Backstrom have found new homes, bringing in a major haul to replace the overachievers with legitimate depth. It’s a good plan, but there was a time when owner Daniel Ronel truly believed the overachievers were the depth the team needed. Then again, Ronel has not won a single playoff series in the YGFHL’s four-year existence. But it’s well confirmed that that’s just coincidence and misfortune.
The high-strung owner is also away on vacation, where he will pretend not to notice Mars Martians owner Isaac Reich buying totally legal things. Perhaps they’ll meet up later that week and argue over the legitimacy of the referee calls from last week’s matchup against each other.
Or perhaps they’ll be congratulating each other on victories next week. The M's should rebound from a poor effort, and the Jugs should only really need a day to defeat North Korea anyways.
MVP: Tie between Joe Pavelski and Nikky Backstrom
LVP: Everyone else
LVP, like the legit one: Max Pacioretty
Reason for hope: The Juggernauts are still only three games out of a playoff spot, and the experts are praising McEnroy on his recent trades. Anything can happen, but Ronel is a bad-luck magnet, so don’t hold your breath if you’re from Portland.
#6 (6) NORTH KOREA KOMODOS • 1-7
Where the hell did that come from?
North Korea nearly grabbed its first non-Portland victory of the season against Hamilton, while avoiding another lowest-scorer dishonour. Bench boss Blake Mabcock continues to show the world why good coaching is so crucial to success, rallying the troops for a late surge.
Despite heroic efforts, the Komodos are still indeed the Komodos, and the team will need to roster more than three players if it expects to win again — which I don't imagine it does.
Jakub Voracek, Brandon Saad and Victor Hedman are of sterling form recently, notching 28.4, 20.8 and 27.8 points respectively, while goalies not named Quick performed admirably well. With the addition of PK Subban — a move that will finalize midway through their next matchup, after the trade freeze lifts — North Korea looks to roster four players.
That matchup, of course, will come against the visiting Portland Juggernauts. The hockey world is relieved that this snoozefest will take place over the Christmas break, as it would be shameful to waste a good clash between two strong teams over a partial-week.
MVP: Jakub Voracek
LVP: Tie between Ryan Johansen and Jonathan Quick
Reason for hope: Owner Evan Presement is getting all these crazy job offers. Maybe if this YGFHL thing doesn’t work out, you could be a journalist?
Congratulations to whoever was bored and maybe brazen enough to scroll down here. Your reward is intel: a breaking news article will be posted tomorrow; you won't want to miss it.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
Throughout the season, I will the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
Along with a weekly Most Valuable Player, there will be a Least Valuable Player included for each team as well, from now on. Like the MVP, the LVP isn't simply the most/least fantasy points achieved on the week. If a depth player performs near the top of the team, then they may be awarded the MVP; likewise, if a superstar has an off week, they may end up being the team donkey. It is almost entirely subjective, but within reason. I may target a player for being clutch (or not being clutch) in a close matchup towards the end of the week. If your favourite player isn't picked, go tell Ron Wilson, and he'll tell you about how inconsistent they are. I don't want to hear it. NOTE: FOR WEEK 11, DUE TO THE ARTICLE BEING A WEEK LATE, I WILL ONLY PROVIDE THE NAME OF THE MVPS AND LVPS — NOT THEIR STATS. IF THIS UPSETS YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
And finally, please have fun with this special midway point power ranking as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 (1) GRAND RAPIDS GOATS • 9-2
And it's wide right!
Ouch. That one's gotta hurt. The Grand Rapids Goats cede victory to divisional rival Guelph, closing out the very successful first half of the regular season on perhaps a sour note. The trade-mobile keeps on chugging as interim GM Rob Surrey has likely gained owner Adam Stier's confidence at this point. Thus far, nearly all of Surrey's little projects — see Datsyuk, Landeskog, MacKinnon, Duchene, Suter, Gaudreau, Henrik and Daniel Sedin, Wheeler... the list goes on — have panned out, while Jugs owner Daniel Ronel continues to pull out his hair.
The G's put up a fierce fight, placing second in scoring last week, and it's clear that this competitive style hockey is no stranger to the fans, and hasn't been for years.
Stier has gone on record about how happy he is to have Surrey, but some experts are warning the manager that there are positions other than centre.
Next up, it's the Christmas matchup! That means halfway through, everyone takes a long-ass break (like an intermission, but over several days). Oh fun. The Goats and their opposition in Mars, Pennsylvania are surging and should put on a feast of a match.
MVP: Alex Steen
LVP: John Tavares
Reason for hope: I heard Chinese food is a good pregame meal and movies during intermissions are good for the mental aspect of the game.
#2 (2) HAMILTON HUSKIES • 8-3
The Sharvit Squad does everything right this week, but barely slides away with one that should've been much easier than it was.
Thanks to late surges from Jason Spezza and Tyler Seguin, the North Korea Komodos tacked on an extra hundo-ten points, pulling within less than 40 points. Still, I imagine Special K (coach Jerry Krotz) heads into the break feeling good about his team.
Now 8-3, the Hamilton Huskies are looking comfortable, but a lottery spot is only five games back, and any Leafs fan can tell you how easy it is for a team to turn into "an 18-wheeler going right off a cliff."
GM Jon Baloney must be dying of laughter by now. For the life of me, I can't understand how every trade he makes, no matter how lopsided it looks, ends up a winner. Every expert out there will tell you the same; JB will trade for underperforming players right as they experience a slight bump in performance. Other GMs — notably James McEnroy of Portland — have tried to mimic this practice, but none can replicate to nearly the same magnitude.
Also, Rasmus Ristolainen. I mean, my god.
Next week, Hamilton and the Gryphons will have a slugfest, continuing a recently borne rivalry. It would be exciting if the players took to the ice for more than half the week.
MVP: Rockstar Ovechkin
LVP: Three-way tie between Claude Giroux, Hanky, and the Phil
Reason for hope: Word on the street is that owner Adam Sharvit might not be updating since he'll be spending a ridiculous amount of time at his day job: he staples people, or something.
#3 (5) MARS MARTIANS • 6-5
That was godawful. But Portland is Portland, so take the victory and be glad this was your down week.
Coach Ratchet Poy tried a new breakout strategy this matchup, and I'm willing to bet he won't be using it much more. Borrowing from the Quebec Nordiques' playbook, Poy would have the defenceman pass the puck to the left winger along the left boards, who would skate towards centre ice and drop-pass the puck to the centreman crossing behind him. The left winger skates past the middle and beelines for the right boards, while the right winger crosses him en route to the middle of the ice right at the offensive blue line. Here, the centreman, trailing with the puck, would headman it up to the right winger, advancing into the zone. The last pass proved to be the problem, however. Nearly every single time, the Jugs would get a stick in the way and deflect the pass. Jugs coach Ed Nolan changed his strategy for the last third of the game, instructing one defenceman to charge forward and intercept the pass completely. The Juggernauts ended the game with 143 interceptions, a professional hockey record.
Still, Mars is a good team and Portland is all kinds of mess, and the universe balanced out Poy's errors.
GM Steve Xzerman has become acting team owner while incumbent Isaac Reich is away on vacation, doing totally legal things that he is old enough to do. So far, 'Stevie-X' finds it to be "the easiest job I've ever had. My only responsibility is to yell at myself and Ratch, and I already do the former to begin with, so..."
With Guelph also taking one (defeating the Goats), the two teams remain deadlocked in the race for third. Here, I've given Mars the edge for no reason other than that I felt like it.
Next up, the M's faces the Sharvit Squad for like two days. Fucking Christmas.
MVP: Roberto Luongo
LVP: Drew Doughty
Reason for hope: Despite being a tiny little shit Pennsylvania town, Mars has been mostly selling out, which is good, because owner Isaac Reich has blown a lot of money on totally legal things on his vacation.
#4 (3) GUELPH GRYPHONS • 6-5
Oh man, this team is gonna fall hard. And it's gonna be amazing.
Guelph sneaks a W to stay tied with the Martians, defeating the league-leading Grand Rapids Goats.
Live by the Bruins. That's Guelph.
Die by the Bruins. They'll see.
On top of an unsustainable shooting percentage comes a powerplay unit that is overperforming. It'll be fun to watch real-life Boston crash and burn, and it'll be fun to watch the Gryphons follow suit.
Jugs' owner Daniel Ronel must be killing himself waiting for this to happen, where he hopes his team will swoop in and attend the spring fling, taking the fourth — and final — spot.
For now, though, good job to general manager Ron Heaney.
Connor McDavid looks to be out until the all-star break. It remains to be seen if the kid is really Rick DiPietro dressed up as a kid; 'CMac' broke his arm in a fight in juniors last year, missing the better part of the second half of the season.
Next up: Hamilton! Owner Ryan Balter will get plenty of time with 'Bae', cause Christmas. Yeah, I'm not a fan of the break, as I imagine you picked up on.
MVP: ITS THE TARASENK-SHOW!
LVP: Jared Spurgeon (he should be averaging 20+ fantasy points per game)
Reason for hope: While McDavid is still injured, Balter has bounced back well from a concussion earlier this season.
#5 (4) PORTLAND JUGGERNAUTS • 3-8
Seriously, what the bloody hell.
All the Joel Wards, and the Mikkel Boedkers, and the Elias Lindholms, and the Max Domis, and the Dylan Larkins, and the Artemi Panarins… they’re all coming back down to earth. All at the same time. It’s a warfield out there.
It has very clearly shown, as the Jugs lost all three matches since the last power rankings, bringing their losing streak up to five in a row. This with updating! What the bloody hell!
James McEnroy already started cutting his losses, releasing Ward and Lindholm, and trading Domi. For now, it appears that he is giving Larkin and Panarin the benefit of the doubt, but has already spoken to Boedker face-to-face and appears very likely to cut him in the near future.
Meanwhile, stars PK Subban and Nicklas Backstrom have found new homes, bringing in a major haul to replace the overachievers with legitimate depth. It’s a good plan, but there was a time when owner Daniel Ronel truly believed the overachievers were the depth the team needed. Then again, Ronel has not won a single playoff series in the YGFHL’s four-year existence. But it’s well confirmed that that’s just coincidence and misfortune.
The high-strung owner is also away on vacation, where he will pretend not to notice Mars Martians owner Isaac Reich buying totally legal things. Perhaps they’ll meet up later that week and argue over the legitimacy of the referee calls from last week’s matchup against each other.
Or perhaps they’ll be congratulating each other on victories next week. The M's should rebound from a poor effort, and the Jugs should only really need a day to defeat North Korea anyways.
MVP: Tie between Joe Pavelski and Nikky Backstrom
LVP: Everyone else
LVP, like the legit one: Max Pacioretty
Reason for hope: The Juggernauts are still only three games out of a playoff spot, and the experts are praising McEnroy on his recent trades. Anything can happen, but Ronel is a bad-luck magnet, so don’t hold your breath if you’re from Portland.
#6 (6) NORTH KOREA KOMODOS • 1-7
Where the hell did that come from?
North Korea nearly grabbed its first non-Portland victory of the season against Hamilton, while avoiding another lowest-scorer dishonour. Bench boss Blake Mabcock continues to show the world why good coaching is so crucial to success, rallying the troops for a late surge.
Despite heroic efforts, the Komodos are still indeed the Komodos, and the team will need to roster more than three players if it expects to win again — which I don't imagine it does.
Jakub Voracek, Brandon Saad and Victor Hedman are of sterling form recently, notching 28.4, 20.8 and 27.8 points respectively, while goalies not named Quick performed admirably well. With the addition of PK Subban — a move that will finalize midway through their next matchup, after the trade freeze lifts — North Korea looks to roster four players.
That matchup, of course, will come against the visiting Portland Juggernauts. The hockey world is relieved that this snoozefest will take place over the Christmas break, as it would be shameful to waste a good clash between two strong teams over a partial-week.
MVP: Jakub Voracek
LVP: Tie between Ryan Johansen and Jonathan Quick
Reason for hope: Owner Evan Presement is getting all these crazy job offers. Maybe if this YGFHL thing doesn’t work out, you could be a journalist?
Congratulations to whoever was bored and maybe brazen enough to scroll down here. Your reward is intel: a breaking news article will be posted tomorrow; you won't want to miss it.