Post by GoVoysGo on Nov 12, 2014 17:04:16 GMT -5
These boards will be used for the weekly power rankings. I thought it would be nice to suggest how this league appears to shape up ahead of this upcoming season. I will be posting the weekly power rankings in one part each week. There will be no bottom half first part, also known as the glass half full half, nor the MC Hammer second portion (Too Legit too Quit). If you get offended that is OK we weren't going to spend Christmas together anyways.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
I have given the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
Next week's power rankings may surprise you. Expect the unexpected (SHUT UP DAN!).
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 GRAND RAPIDS GOATS (1) 4-1
FLASHBACK: I say with great caution that this team should be 4-1. Next week, they tango with Dallas. I said the past week was an easy win, and I was shocked. An upset this week is even less likely, but this team may need some soul searching.
ENDFLASHBACK: *le me, checking scoreboard for final scoresHOLY SHIT DALLAS FUCKING BEAT GRAND RAPIDS DALLAS FUCKING BEAT GRAND RAPIDS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THIS MUST BE A DREAM WTF WTF WTF
Yes, it really is a dream in a way (or a nightmare, depending on perspective).
Throughout the entire matchup, Goats coach Stutter was livid, screaming at his players, the Dallas players, the referees, fans of both teams, myself (via intermission time phone call), and the like. I regret every second of that phone call. Grand Rapids fought hard, and took the lead late in the game. It would be short lived, as they gave it right back to the Diamonds. The game ended there.
As the professional sports writer that I am, I got to work immediately on the rankings. I got a call from TFHN editor-in-chief Mason Jay late last night (meaning at quarter past five in the morning; don’t worry, I wasn’t asleep), informing me that the shitty scorekeeper fucked up and forgot to add a few goals to the GR side. This proved to be detrimental, giving the Goats the W. All owner Adam Stier had to say about it was, “Cool.”
Maybe cool for you, jerk. You don’t have to stay up all night, making sure you finish your power rankings early, having to completely change it. You also didn’t lose all your work. It SUCKS, man.
While I spent my week curled up in a corner, crying over my team’s success, these two squads went out and showed the world what they are made of. It will be interesting to see if a certain one of these two teams will make the playoffs (because the other one is guaranteed to miss the playoffs; yeah, you didn’t see that one coming). Okay, maybe both are guaranteed to end up exactly where they are right now.
It was very entertaining watching the effort displayed by the down-but-not-out Goats, who were without Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf, both of whom were sick with herpes at the very same time (of course, they were completely separate incidences). Interestingly, real-life teammate Francois Beauchemin tested positive for herpes, also at the same time (yet these were still all completely separate incidences).
Next week, Grand Rapids finishes their three-game homestand against the Blizz. Grand Rapids took the first game of the season series, but Milwaukee is not the same team (well, they are, but they’re somehow better).
MVP: I really couldn't decide, so I had a 2-way tie.
MVP: NICK FOLIGNO • 3 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 1 A (1 PPA) • 11 HITS • 32.7 FPTS
MVP: SAMI VATANEN • 3 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 2 A (2 PPA) • 7 HITS • 4 BLOCKS • 30.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: Getzlaf and Perry have overcome their gonorrhoea, or AIDS, or whatever it was, and should resume to their hat-tricking ways. This is likely the only bump in the road for the two this season, unless they TOTALLY NOT BUTTFUCK again.
#2 RED DEER BLADES (4) 4-2
Jesus fuck. Mabcock does it again.
The assassins carry out their second job, taking out the Blizz.
Darn. If it weren’t for a scoring fuck up, I could have ranked Red Deer first (at least I would have been able to justify it).
The Blades reared up and delivered a massive slap to my face for ranking them 4th heading into the season. They also slapped the entire Milwaukee franchise for complaining that I ranked them below Red Deer.
The new coach has made a huge impact to a team that was winless (no, Seattle doesn’t count), and now they have two in a row. This is shaping up to be one of the biggest comeback stories ever: new coach sets team on new path. Oh wait, that’s not a new story at all. I can think of five coaches right now that recently came in and put the team on a hot streak (Randy Carlyle, although that didn’t last; Willie Desjardins; Ken Hitchcock; Paul Maurice; Dallas Eak… wait). Nevertheless, Mabcock, (GM) Glen Kolland, and (owner) Mark Korodetz are doing great wonders for this team.
Oh yeah. The players. They did stuff too.
Speaking of players, Red Deer finally filled in their empty captain role, awarding the “C” to Henrik Zetterberg. In fact, they announced it during a stoppage in play as the puck went into the crowd, some point halfway through the game.
When asked how he was feeling about the new leadership, “Zetty” told us at TFHN, “Pretty good.”
Pretty good would not describe Milwaukee head coach Sean Trooper, who was “kinda pissed.” Oh well. Sucks.
I guess I shouldn’t praise Red Deer too much; last week, Mark Korodetz got upset that I had been, in his excellently hand-picked words, “sucking Grand Rapids dick” in my power rankings.
So… that’s pretty much it. There was another pretty cool thing that was a thing that happened this week. The Blades tallied 551.7 points, giving them the YGFHL all time record. They also become the only team ever to post two 500+ matchups. That’s pretty important, I guess.
Is it too early to list them with a 4-2 record? No. No it is not. Next week they face Seattle.
MVP: It would be an outrage if I did not choose
MVP: VLADIMIR TARASENKO • 4 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (1 PPA) • +3 PLUS/MINUS • 11 SHOTS ON GOAL • 43.5 FPTS
Reason for hope: From ZERO to FIVE HUNDRED FIFTY-ONE POINT SEVEN: the Red Deer Blades did that this week.
#3 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (2) 3-2
BREAKING NEWS: RED DEER CONTINUES THEIR TOP TEAM HIT LIST, TAKES OUT TOP TWO TEAMS IN A ROW
I’m sorry, I just had to.
Ya got WHACKED! The assassins take out Milwaukee, the second team on their hit list (or I would assume, seeing as I came up with the cool persona for Red Deer LEAVE ME ALONE). It seems the Blizzards are returning to earth after catching fire during their matchup with Seattle (god, I can’t say that with a straight face).
On Tuesday, owner Shmuel Kantor has scheduled a press conference. It is believed he will name a captain, becoming the final team in the league to do so. There is speculation over who it will be, with many possibilities; I can, however, guarantee that it will not be Jiri Hudler.
If you really care about the Blizz, and you want to know what else I have to say, refer to Kantor, who seems to think he can write power rankings better than I can. Go ahead, I dare you.
But let’s be serious for a moment. Milwaukee clearly isn’t the powerhouse that they once were — like, a week ago. They head over to Grand Rapids to face the Goats; this matchup will be a testament of their capabilities.
MVP: JAKE ALLEN • 2 GS • 2 W • .943 SV% • 1 SHUTOUT • 1.5 GAA • 37 FPTS
Reason for hope: Come up with your own goddamn reason for hope, hotshot.
#4 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 3-2
If you would like to know what coach Jerry Krotz thought of this weeks matchup, you can find the short press conference here.
I’m sorry, but you probably could have benched half your team and still taken a victory.
But, like… good job anyways.
The Sharvit Squad might be regaining their form, although it isn’t like any of the Huskies brass did anything to cause this. It just happened. This teams’ trend is just all over the place. The players are streakier than this guy.
It’s almost like the hockey gods don’t really know what the hell they want to do with Hamilton.
It appears GM Jon Baloney’s job is safe… for now. According to owner Adam Sharvit, he and Baloney are now “sober buddies”, and we all know that will last.
You did not follow my advice, in which I warned you not to take Seattle lightly. It didn’t matter, because Seattle took you lightly. While it might not seem like it (because that’s how they normally play), Seattle did in fact take the Huskies lightly. And when the BLAZERS take a team lightly, well… they might have some work ahead of them.
This week, the schedule pits them against Dallas. The Diamonds may have a chance, as the Huskies are playing back-to-back matchups. Then again, so is everybody, ever, at least in the YGFHL.
MVP: ONDREJ PAVELEC • 3 GS • 2 W • .948 SV% • 0 L • 30.4 FPTS
Reason for hope: I ran out of good material to bash you, so you got lucky... this week.
#5 SEATTLE BLAZERS (5) 1-4
Come on, man. I’m running out of material. I can only talk so much shit about a team.
Oh wait, no. I got it.
THE TEAM SUCKS!
On the bright side, Seattle narrowly avoided the record for lowest weekly score (they got 242). On the other hand, they just narrowly avoided the record for lowest weekly score (they got 242).
Longtime fan David Grohl is probably more upset than the Seattle Blazers team itself, and it’s not hard to understand why. When last week I said “#PLANTHEPARADE”, I was completely, 100%, kidding. As all the cool and hip kids would say, “smh”.
The once laughingstock of the league… has again found themselves in that position. And we’re all still laughing (and maybe for some of us, crying as well). In fact, 5th is pretty generous (and will be explained later).
The Blazers have absolutely no excuse. Here is a look at each team and their points for/points against totals.
A few things can be gathered from this. The Goats, Huskies, and Blades, all top teams, are at a positive point differential. The only other team in prime playoff position, the Blizzards, are at a negative; however, this can be acquitted to their sluggish start (are they this year’s 2013-14 Colorado Avalanche?). Unsurprisingly, Dallas and Seattle boast negative differentials. So? That’s to be expected.
But if you look closely, you can see why this is such a crucial set of data. Dallas sits around 1800 for points against. Seattle sits at 1613.7 total points against this season — good for the league lowest. WHAT?
WHAT?
The Huskies showed decent form, and the Blazers showed no form; the rest was history.
Next week, the assassins head on down to Emerald City to carry out the attack on their next target. The Blades have the lone victory of the season series so far. I’m not going to say Seattle is doomed, but… good luck.
MVP: The only one who did anything, CLAUDE GIROUX • 3 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (1 PPA) • 13 SHOTS ON GOAL • 40.4 FPTS
Reason for hope: A recent rumour that you had quit the Triple Play Dynasty fantasy baseball league finally was settled today. Rather than quitting, league manager Justin Bogenschutz filed for your dismissal of the Seattle Mariners. The extra free time means you might have more leverage in your YGFHL activeness (then again, it wasn't like you did anything in TPD).
#6 DALLAS DIAMONDS (6) 1-4
Woah. What a week.
Dallas beat Grand Rapids! Okay, maybe just for a day, but that shouldn’t discredit their efforts.
It shouldn’t…
But of course, when do I ever give you what you expect me to give you?
As thoroughly explained earlier, a scoring error resulted in a false Dallas upset victory, one that was corrected just days later.
As you can assume, owner Isaac Reich was very happy with this.
Very happy.
He released the following statement at the post-game press conference:
“My team, my players, we’ve been hard at work for a whole week. We took on the challenge that is Grand Rapids. And we delivered. We were thrilled. We were already halfway back to Dallas before we found out this [expletive]. There we were, maybe ten kilometres in the air, high spirits, celebrating a HUGE upset win, chugging on champagne and just having a good time, already halfway back to Dallas. And you expect me to just accept that?! The game was done! Either fix it then, or don’t fix it at all. I’m done with this [expletive].”
Diamonds defenseman Marek Zidlicky added to this, saying that “it is very unprofessional. Very morale-sapping. Especially since wins aren’t really a premium for us. But we’re a great bunch. We’re resilient. We can throw punches with the heavyweights. And I think we proved that. Just, throw us a bone.” Former player Paul Coffey agrees, although we at TFHN still wonder how that made mainstream news.
In expected response to Reich, league commissioner Larry Buttman underreacted, issuing the following announcement:
“Mr. Reich, you shut your [expletive] mouth. Nobody is going to change [expletive]. What is the YGFHL to you? The YGFHL is not about hockey. The YGFHL is about money. Money. As we all know, time is money, and all this nonsense that spews from your mouth is just a big [expletive] waste of time. So shut the [expletive] up!”
Buttman was spent, screaming and shouting to the extent that I don’t think we’ve ever seen capable of such a small and annoying man. Reich declined to comment on the announcement. He also declined to comment on the 51 voicemails I left him, regarding a reaction to the announcement.
All in all, a loss is a loss. Dallas is still tied for last. They are still trending down (although are slowing down this trend). In terms of roster value, they are still last by a landslide. They nearly climbed out of the dregs of my power rankings. However, if they can’t improve their record so that they are better than someone, or at least improve their roster, then so they shall stay.
Dallas will tango with Hamilton. All games are interesting (as hockey is interesting), but I would not consider watching it. If I’m having trouble sleeping, then I might reconsider.
Did he really just go there?
Yeah, bub.
MVP: SCOTT HARTNELL • 3 GP • 4 G (2 PPG) • 11 SHOTS ON GOAL • 11 HITS • 28.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: As you just proved, you can put up the points. Inconsistency might be your downfall, but if you can fix that, you could make a surprise playoff run.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
I have given the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
Next week's power rankings may surprise you. Expect the unexpected (SHUT UP DAN!).
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
FLASHBACK: I say with great caution that this team should be 4-1. Next week, they tango with Dallas. I said the past week was an easy win, and I was shocked. An upset this week is even less likely, but this team may need some soul searching.
ENDFLASHBACK: *le me, checking scoreboard for final scoresHOLY SHIT DALLAS FUCKING BEAT GRAND RAPIDS DALLAS FUCKING BEAT GRAND RAPIDS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THIS MUST BE A DREAM WTF WTF WTF
Yes, it really is a dream in a way (or a nightmare, depending on perspective).
Throughout the entire matchup, Goats coach Stutter was livid, screaming at his players, the Dallas players, the referees, fans of both teams, myself (via intermission time phone call), and the like. I regret every second of that phone call. Grand Rapids fought hard, and took the lead late in the game. It would be short lived, as they gave it right back to the Diamonds. The game ended there.
As the professional sports writer that I am, I got to work immediately on the rankings. I got a call from TFHN editor-in-chief Mason Jay late last night (meaning at quarter past five in the morning; don’t worry, I wasn’t asleep), informing me that the shitty scorekeeper fucked up and forgot to add a few goals to the GR side. This proved to be detrimental, giving the Goats the W. All owner Adam Stier had to say about it was, “Cool.”
Maybe cool for you, jerk. You don’t have to stay up all night, making sure you finish your power rankings early, having to completely change it. You also didn’t lose all your work. It SUCKS, man.
While I spent my week curled up in a corner, crying over my team’s success, these two squads went out and showed the world what they are made of. It will be interesting to see if a certain one of these two teams will make the playoffs (because the other one is guaranteed to miss the playoffs; yeah, you didn’t see that one coming). Okay, maybe both are guaranteed to end up exactly where they are right now.
It was very entertaining watching the effort displayed by the down-but-not-out Goats, who were without Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf, both of whom were sick with herpes at the very same time (of course, they were completely separate incidences). Interestingly, real-life teammate Francois Beauchemin tested positive for herpes, also at the same time (yet these were still all completely separate incidences).
Next week, Grand Rapids finishes their three-game homestand against the Blizz. Grand Rapids took the first game of the season series, but Milwaukee is not the same team (well, they are, but they’re somehow better).
MVP: I really couldn't decide, so I had a 2-way tie.
MVP: NICK FOLIGNO • 3 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 1 A (1 PPA) • 11 HITS • 32.7 FPTS
MVP: SAMI VATANEN • 3 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 2 A (2 PPA) • 7 HITS • 4 BLOCKS • 30.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: Getzlaf and Perry have overcome their gonorrhoea, or AIDS, or whatever it was, and should resume to their hat-tricking ways. This is likely the only bump in the road for the two this season, unless they TOTALLY NOT BUTTFUCK again.
#2 RED DEER BLADES (4) 4-2
Jesus fuck. Mabcock does it again.
The assassins carry out their second job, taking out the Blizz.
Darn. If it weren’t for a scoring fuck up, I could have ranked Red Deer first (at least I would have been able to justify it).
The Blades reared up and delivered a massive slap to my face for ranking them 4th heading into the season. They also slapped the entire Milwaukee franchise for complaining that I ranked them below Red Deer.
The new coach has made a huge impact to a team that was winless (no, Seattle doesn’t count), and now they have two in a row. This is shaping up to be one of the biggest comeback stories ever: new coach sets team on new path. Oh wait, that’s not a new story at all. I can think of five coaches right now that recently came in and put the team on a hot streak (Randy Carlyle, although that didn’t last; Willie Desjardins; Ken Hitchcock; Paul Maurice; Dallas Eak… wait). Nevertheless, Mabcock, (GM) Glen Kolland, and (owner) Mark Korodetz are doing great wonders for this team.
Oh yeah. The players. They did stuff too.
Speaking of players, Red Deer finally filled in their empty captain role, awarding the “C” to Henrik Zetterberg. In fact, they announced it during a stoppage in play as the puck went into the crowd, some point halfway through the game.
When asked how he was feeling about the new leadership, “Zetty” told us at TFHN, “Pretty good.”
Pretty good would not describe Milwaukee head coach Sean Trooper, who was “kinda pissed.” Oh well. Sucks.
I guess I shouldn’t praise Red Deer too much; last week, Mark Korodetz got upset that I had been, in his excellently hand-picked words, “sucking Grand Rapids dick” in my power rankings.
So… that’s pretty much it. There was another pretty cool thing that was a thing that happened this week. The Blades tallied 551.7 points, giving them the YGFHL all time record. They also become the only team ever to post two 500+ matchups. That’s pretty important, I guess.
Is it too early to list them with a 4-2 record? No. No it is not. Next week they face Seattle.
MVP: It would be an outrage if I did not choose
MVP: VLADIMIR TARASENKO • 4 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (1 PPA) • +3 PLUS/MINUS • 11 SHOTS ON GOAL • 43.5 FPTS
Reason for hope: From ZERO to FIVE HUNDRED FIFTY-ONE POINT SEVEN: the Red Deer Blades did that this week.
#3 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (2) 3-2
BREAKING NEWS: RED DEER CONTINUES THEIR TOP TEAM HIT LIST, TAKES OUT TOP TWO TEAMS IN A ROW
I’m sorry, I just had to.
Ya got WHACKED! The assassins take out Milwaukee, the second team on their hit list (or I would assume, seeing as I came up with the cool persona for Red Deer LEAVE ME ALONE). It seems the Blizzards are returning to earth after catching fire during their matchup with Seattle (god, I can’t say that with a straight face).
On Tuesday, owner Shmuel Kantor has scheduled a press conference. It is believed he will name a captain, becoming the final team in the league to do so. There is speculation over who it will be, with many possibilities; I can, however, guarantee that it will not be Jiri Hudler.
If you really care about the Blizz, and you want to know what else I have to say, refer to Kantor, who seems to think he can write power rankings better than I can. Go ahead, I dare you.
But let’s be serious for a moment. Milwaukee clearly isn’t the powerhouse that they once were — like, a week ago. They head over to Grand Rapids to face the Goats; this matchup will be a testament of their capabilities.
MVP: JAKE ALLEN • 2 GS • 2 W • .943 SV% • 1 SHUTOUT • 1.5 GAA • 37 FPTS
Reason for hope: Come up with your own goddamn reason for hope, hotshot.
#4 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 3-2
If you would like to know what coach Jerry Krotz thought of this weeks matchup, you can find the short press conference here.
I’m sorry, but you probably could have benched half your team and still taken a victory.
But, like… good job anyways.
The Sharvit Squad might be regaining their form, although it isn’t like any of the Huskies brass did anything to cause this. It just happened. This teams’ trend is just all over the place. The players are streakier than this guy.
It’s almost like the hockey gods don’t really know what the hell they want to do with Hamilton.
It appears GM Jon Baloney’s job is safe… for now. According to owner Adam Sharvit, he and Baloney are now “sober buddies”, and we all know that will last.
You did not follow my advice, in which I warned you not to take Seattle lightly. It didn’t matter, because Seattle took you lightly. While it might not seem like it (because that’s how they normally play), Seattle did in fact take the Huskies lightly. And when the BLAZERS take a team lightly, well… they might have some work ahead of them.
This week, the schedule pits them against Dallas. The Diamonds may have a chance, as the Huskies are playing back-to-back matchups. Then again, so is everybody, ever, at least in the YGFHL.
MVP: ONDREJ PAVELEC • 3 GS • 2 W • .948 SV% • 0 L • 30.4 FPTS
Reason for hope: I ran out of good material to bash you, so you got lucky... this week.
#5 SEATTLE BLAZERS (5) 1-4
Come on, man. I’m running out of material. I can only talk so much shit about a team.
Oh wait, no. I got it.
THE TEAM SUCKS!
On the bright side, Seattle narrowly avoided the record for lowest weekly score (they got 242). On the other hand, they just narrowly avoided the record for lowest weekly score (they got 242).
Longtime fan David Grohl is probably more upset than the Seattle Blazers team itself, and it’s not hard to understand why. When last week I said “#PLANTHEPARADE”, I was completely, 100%, kidding. As all the cool and hip kids would say, “smh”.
The once laughingstock of the league… has again found themselves in that position. And we’re all still laughing (and maybe for some of us, crying as well). In fact, 5th is pretty generous (and will be explained later).
The Blazers have absolutely no excuse. Here is a look at each team and their points for/points against totals.
A few things can be gathered from this. The Goats, Huskies, and Blades, all top teams, are at a positive point differential. The only other team in prime playoff position, the Blizzards, are at a negative; however, this can be acquitted to their sluggish start (are they this year’s 2013-14 Colorado Avalanche?). Unsurprisingly, Dallas and Seattle boast negative differentials. So? That’s to be expected.
But if you look closely, you can see why this is such a crucial set of data. Dallas sits around 1800 for points against. Seattle sits at 1613.7 total points against this season — good for the league lowest. WHAT?
WHAT?
The Huskies showed decent form, and the Blazers showed no form; the rest was history.
Next week, the assassins head on down to Emerald City to carry out the attack on their next target. The Blades have the lone victory of the season series so far. I’m not going to say Seattle is doomed, but… good luck.
MVP: The only one who did anything, CLAUDE GIROUX • 3 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 3 A (1 PPA) • 13 SHOTS ON GOAL • 40.4 FPTS
Reason for hope: A recent rumour that you had quit the Triple Play Dynasty fantasy baseball league finally was settled today. Rather than quitting, league manager Justin Bogenschutz filed for your dismissal of the Seattle Mariners. The extra free time means you might have more leverage in your YGFHL activeness (then again, it wasn't like you did anything in TPD).
#6 DALLAS DIAMONDS (6) 1-4
Woah. What a week.
Dallas beat Grand Rapids! Okay, maybe just for a day, but that shouldn’t discredit their efforts.
It shouldn’t…
But of course, when do I ever give you what you expect me to give you?
As thoroughly explained earlier, a scoring error resulted in a false Dallas upset victory, one that was corrected just days later.
As you can assume, owner Isaac Reich was very happy with this.
Very happy.
He released the following statement at the post-game press conference:
“My team, my players, we’ve been hard at work for a whole week. We took on the challenge that is Grand Rapids. And we delivered. We were thrilled. We were already halfway back to Dallas before we found out this [expletive]. There we were, maybe ten kilometres in the air, high spirits, celebrating a HUGE upset win, chugging on champagne and just having a good time, already halfway back to Dallas. And you expect me to just accept that?! The game was done! Either fix it then, or don’t fix it at all. I’m done with this [expletive].”
Diamonds defenseman Marek Zidlicky added to this, saying that “it is very unprofessional. Very morale-sapping. Especially since wins aren’t really a premium for us. But we’re a great bunch. We’re resilient. We can throw punches with the heavyweights. And I think we proved that. Just, throw us a bone.” Former player Paul Coffey agrees, although we at TFHN still wonder how that made mainstream news.
In expected response to Reich, league commissioner Larry Buttman underreacted, issuing the following announcement:
“Mr. Reich, you shut your [expletive] mouth. Nobody is going to change [expletive]. What is the YGFHL to you? The YGFHL is not about hockey. The YGFHL is about money. Money. As we all know, time is money, and all this nonsense that spews from your mouth is just a big [expletive] waste of time. So shut the [expletive] up!”
Buttman was spent, screaming and shouting to the extent that I don’t think we’ve ever seen capable of such a small and annoying man. Reich declined to comment on the announcement. He also declined to comment on the 51 voicemails I left him, regarding a reaction to the announcement.
All in all, a loss is a loss. Dallas is still tied for last. They are still trending down (although are slowing down this trend). In terms of roster value, they are still last by a landslide. They nearly climbed out of the dregs of my power rankings. However, if they can’t improve their record so that they are better than someone, or at least improve their roster, then so they shall stay.
Dallas will tango with Hamilton. All games are interesting (as hockey is interesting), but I would not consider watching it. If I’m having trouble sleeping, then I might reconsider.
Did he really just go there?
Yeah, bub.
MVP: SCOTT HARTNELL • 3 GP • 4 G (2 PPG) • 11 SHOTS ON GOAL • 11 HITS • 28.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: As you just proved, you can put up the points. Inconsistency might be your downfall, but if you can fix that, you could make a surprise playoff run.