Post by GoVoysGo on Oct 29, 2014 17:51:24 GMT -5
These boards will be used for the weekly power rankings. I thought it would be nice to suggest how this league appears to shape up ahead of this upcoming season. I will be posting the weekly power rankings in one part each week. There will be no bottom half first part, also known as the glass half full half, nor the MC Hammer second portion (Too Legit too Quit). If you get offended that is OK we weren't going to spend Christmas together anyways.
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
NEW: I have given the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
#1 GRAND RAPIDS GOATS (1) 3-0
Another solid week, another win.
This seems to be a recurring theme this year, as the Goats improve to 3-0. Granted, this week was a gimmie. Owner Adam Stier could have benched a goddamn hat trick and still won.
Could have.
GM Sean Combardi made a bold move and swapped out hot Jaden Schwartz for novice Jonathan Drouin. Bench boss Darren Stutter tells TFHN of the win (in a fashion reminiscent of Randy Carlyle), "I thought we played okay. Could be better." To the surprise of everyone, he didn't smile once during the interview.
The undefeated powerhouse will return to Grand Rapids for a two game homestand against the Red Deer Blades and the Dallas Diamonds, respectively. Judging off of the teams that have faced (and lost to) the Goats so far, I would be tremendously shocked if this team did not go 5-0.
MVP: James Neal AND YOU BENCHED HIM? - 3 GP • 4 G • 1 A • 1 HAT TRICK • 32.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: The primary referee for your upcoming matchup is Joel Ward (the one who officiated our game in real life). This time, he can confirm goals with video replay. Lucky you!
#2 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 2-1
This week Hamilton faced the Red Deer Blades. Surprise, they won. Now, their record sits at a solid 2-1, with a points edge over every team with an equal or worse record, earning them 2nd.
You are lucky you started with such an amazing team (arguably better than the Goats). If that weren't the case, you would not be 2-1 at all.
At least, that is what I would tell owner Adam Sharvit, who seemingly forgot how to build a team, a feat he, and GM of the Year recipient Jon Baloney, became known for. They are, however, doing a great job of tearing it apart.
It is strange to see Sharvit seemingly content with the transactions this team has made, as if he secretly has a master plan (which, of course, he does).
Perhaps the only reason this team is still 2-1 is because of former Jack Adams Award winner Jerry Krotz, the Huskies' head coach.
Recently, sources out of Hamilton claimed that Sharvit vouched for compensation due to his players randomly disappearing and being replaced by new ones (we call this trading). Commissioner of the FromScratch Dynasty Baseball League Clint J. Gritt denies him compensation, despite having nothing to do with the FHL. Oddly enough, Gritt's rejection is enforced.
The Sharvit squad heads to the blistering cold that is the Milwaukee Blizzard. The Blizz are on a roll and could pose a bit of a problem. This is: RETURN OF THE SEGUIN! (PART 1).
MVP: Tyson Barrie - 3 GS • 1 G (1 PPG) • 4 A (2 PPA) • 3 BLK • 31.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: This team has been shit before. The fans know what its like. They don't mind. They're like Leafs fans. No, really. Feel free to destroy the team more for monetary gain.
#3 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (5) 2-1
Grand Rapids. Check. Hamilton. Check. Milwau... wha?
A 2-1 record plants the Blizz 3rd. I did however consider ranking them 7th after a half-assed attempt at icing a goalie squad. Only one of his five goalies earned wins (Ryan Miller, who earned two wins), and only one other cracked positive. Over the week, the goalies combined for a grand total of... 12 points.
It's alright. Seattle learned the hard way. Milwaukee will too.
Owner Shmuel Kantor has finally found a GM this year in Jamison McEnroy, who is already doing a much better job than Kantor did last year (Kantor became interim GM after Jon Baloney left with previous owner Adam Sharvit).
On the topic of Sharvit, the owner will host his former team for the first time. Don't look now (cause it hasn't started) but this one might actually be entertaining.
You beat Sharvit at data this past week, which was surprising. Let's see if you can surprise us again, Mr. Kantor.
MVP: Tommy Wingels, because Vrbata is selfish, and selfish players aren't valuable at all - 4 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 1 A • TWENTY SOG • TWENTY HITS • 24.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: I hear McEnroy is also pretty good with numbers. Smart investment.
#4 DALLAS DIAMONDS (2) 1-2
I'm a winning team! I almost beat Sharvit! I'm in the top three! How am I ranked so low? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Mr. Reich, I must inform you of some terrible news.
YA BLEW IT!
Plain and simple, your team sucks. The Diamonds traded away a solid bulk of it and it may finally be taking a toll. All the trash talking from owner Isaac Reich fired up the Milwaukee Blizzard (players, coaches, management, everybody within the franchise) and they came out, guns blazing. Sure, some late heroics at the end of the week made the matchup interesting, especially when Dallas took the lead. This lead would not last. This team will not last. Get your crap together, mister!
If it weren't for your Quick decision making skills (I made a damn pun, so sue me), Dallas would have done worse than Red Deer this week. In fact, THEY DID WORSE THAN SEATTLE! HOLY SHIT! HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?
Actually, if it weren't for the Dallas goalies, they wouldn't have cracked 300 on the week (282.2 points from the skaters).
Next week, Dallas heads back home to confront the lowly Blazers. You might think this is an easy win, BUT LAST WEEK THEY WOULD HAVE BEATEN YOU!
MVP: Jonathan Quick - 2 GS • 2 W • 1 SO • 0.961 SV% • 38.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: Once upon a time, the Los Angeles Kings were consistently a bottom feeder (after falling from their 90s success). They returned, capturing 2 Mugs à la Stanley in a three year span. I'm sure in ten (and twelve) years you will win championships.
#5 RED DEER BLADES (4) 1-2
Before I roast this team, I should mention that things are looking up. The additions of Mabcock and Kolland are key; the presence of both men will be felt, despite a more than probable loss this upcoming week in Grand Rapids.
Now, I'm about to set this team on fire like a certain house just off Bathurst.
You are lucky your jerseys are so MAGNIFICENT. Because you really don't have anything else to garner any praise.
I said this to myself last week. I'll say it to you this week. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HIT 300 POINTS!
The Saturday (Oct. 25) was KILLER. The rest of the league averaged 83.1 points. You didn't hit 50. After the first night (Oct. 20), you had -4 points. You were in the NEGATIVE!
To be fair, so was the Sharvit squad, who rebounded from -0.4 to surpass 350 on the week. Although, the latter of the sentence separates him from you.
I don't want to say for certain you're going to be 1-3... but for certain, you're going to be 1-3. Don't bother wasting your precious grade 12 time on updating when you could be studying or doing other productive things that you absolutely won't do.
MVP: Lil' Joe Pavelski - 4 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 1 A • 11 SOG • 3 BLK • 34.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: You face Seattle and Dallas each four more times. I guarantee anywhere from four to eight more wins, depending on how well you do against the Diamonds.
#6 SEATTLE BLAZERS (6) 0-3
Woah. You really hung in there.
Okay, not really.
For the first 67% of the week, Seattle and Grand Rapids traded the lead so many times, I lost count. It's a good thing nobody really cares about the number.
You can also thank Johnny Gaudreau for not getting a hat trick, like his benched counterpart James Neal. The matchup would have been put away right then and there.
I would recommending tanking again, because it's clear this team is heading nowhere. Problem is, the league starts fresh next year.
Darn. You could have really put yourself in a good spot.
You finally dropped Bernier and Reimer, for Scrivens, who has won four in a row. Now nobody can laugh at you. I would applaud you, but I'm mad since I can't laugh at your Toronto goalies. The attention in that area may turn to Milwaukee.
There is a glimmer of hope as the Blazers take on the Dallas Diamonds, who are slowly coming back down to earth. Then again, the Diamonds are facing Seattle, so the hope may be all for naught.
MVP: Lots of guys stepped up, but I just had to go with Jeff Carter - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 4 A (1 PPA) • 1 GWG • 39.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: Refer to last week's power rankings.
GUYS, PLEASE JUST PRETEND LIKE I FINISHED THESE SUNDAY NIGHT/MONDAY MORNING AND THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE READING THIS! PLEASE!
The grammar will be bad and if you feel the need to point that out please be prepared to make a fist with your right hand and shake it back and forth so you can visualize my response to those complaints.
The Power Rankings are composed based on performance, record, and a glance at the team rosters...........
NEW: I have given the number rank a colour based on how the team is trending: green (trending up), red (trending down, like my math marks over the years), and gray (consistent... or you simply can't become more extreme, either first or worst). THE RANK ITSELF IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF THIS.
And finally, please have fun with these as I intend to, and try to ignore the fact that I copied the beginning of Clint J. Gritt's weekly power rankings from the Triple Play Dynasty baseball league.
Another solid week, another win.
This seems to be a recurring theme this year, as the Goats improve to 3-0. Granted, this week was a gimmie. Owner Adam Stier could have benched a goddamn hat trick and still won.
Could have.
GM Sean Combardi made a bold move and swapped out hot Jaden Schwartz for novice Jonathan Drouin. Bench boss Darren Stutter tells TFHN of the win (in a fashion reminiscent of Randy Carlyle), "I thought we played okay. Could be better." To the surprise of everyone, he didn't smile once during the interview.
The undefeated powerhouse will return to Grand Rapids for a two game homestand against the Red Deer Blades and the Dallas Diamonds, respectively. Judging off of the teams that have faced (and lost to) the Goats so far, I would be tremendously shocked if this team did not go 5-0.
MVP: James Neal AND YOU BENCHED HIM? - 3 GP • 4 G • 1 A • 1 HAT TRICK • 32.9 FPTS
Reason for hope: The primary referee for your upcoming matchup is Joel Ward (the one who officiated our game in real life). This time, he can confirm goals with video replay. Lucky you!
#2 HAMILTON HUSKIES (3) 2-1
This week Hamilton faced the Red Deer Blades. Surprise, they won. Now, their record sits at a solid 2-1, with a points edge over every team with an equal or worse record, earning them 2nd.
You are lucky you started with such an amazing team (arguably better than the Goats). If that weren't the case, you would not be 2-1 at all.
At least, that is what I would tell owner Adam Sharvit, who seemingly forgot how to build a team, a feat he, and GM of the Year recipient Jon Baloney, became known for. They are, however, doing a great job of tearing it apart.
It is strange to see Sharvit seemingly content with the transactions this team has made, as if he secretly has a master plan (which, of course, he does).
Perhaps the only reason this team is still 2-1 is because of former Jack Adams Award winner Jerry Krotz, the Huskies' head coach.
Recently, sources out of Hamilton claimed that Sharvit vouched for compensation due to his players randomly disappearing and being replaced by new ones (we call this trading). Commissioner of the FromScratch Dynasty Baseball League Clint J. Gritt denies him compensation, despite having nothing to do with the FHL. Oddly enough, Gritt's rejection is enforced.
The Sharvit squad heads to the blistering cold that is the Milwaukee Blizzard. The Blizz are on a roll and could pose a bit of a problem. This is: RETURN OF THE SEGUIN! (PART 1).
MVP: Tyson Barrie - 3 GS • 1 G (1 PPG) • 4 A (2 PPA) • 3 BLK • 31.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: This team has been shit before. The fans know what its like. They don't mind. They're like Leafs fans. No, really. Feel free to destroy the team more for monetary gain.
#3 MILWAUKEE BLIZZARDS (5) 2-1
Grand Rapids. Check. Hamilton. Check. Milwau... wha?
A 2-1 record plants the Blizz 3rd. I did however consider ranking them 7th after a half-assed attempt at icing a goalie squad. Only one of his five goalies earned wins (Ryan Miller, who earned two wins), and only one other cracked positive. Over the week, the goalies combined for a grand total of... 12 points.
It's alright. Seattle learned the hard way. Milwaukee will too.
Owner Shmuel Kantor has finally found a GM this year in Jamison McEnroy, who is already doing a much better job than Kantor did last year (Kantor became interim GM after Jon Baloney left with previous owner Adam Sharvit).
On the topic of Sharvit, the owner will host his former team for the first time. Don't look now (cause it hasn't started) but this one might actually be entertaining.
You beat Sharvit at data this past week, which was surprising. Let's see if you can surprise us again, Mr. Kantor.
MVP: Tommy Wingels, because Vrbata is selfish, and selfish players aren't valuable at all - 4 GP • 1 G (1 PPG) • 1 A • TWENTY SOG • TWENTY HITS • 24.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: I hear McEnroy is also pretty good with numbers. Smart investment.
#4 DALLAS DIAMONDS (2) 1-2
I'm a winning team! I almost beat Sharvit! I'm in the top three! How am I ranked so low? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Mr. Reich, I must inform you of some terrible news.
YA BLEW IT!
Plain and simple, your team sucks. The Diamonds traded away a solid bulk of it and it may finally be taking a toll. All the trash talking from owner Isaac Reich fired up the Milwaukee Blizzard (players, coaches, management, everybody within the franchise) and they came out, guns blazing. Sure, some late heroics at the end of the week made the matchup interesting, especially when Dallas took the lead. This lead would not last. This team will not last. Get your crap together, mister!
If it weren't for your Quick decision making skills (I made a damn pun, so sue me), Dallas would have done worse than Red Deer this week. In fact, THEY DID WORSE THAN SEATTLE! HOLY SHIT! HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?
Actually, if it weren't for the Dallas goalies, they wouldn't have cracked 300 on the week (282.2 points from the skaters).
Next week, Dallas heads back home to confront the lowly Blazers. You might think this is an easy win, BUT LAST WEEK THEY WOULD HAVE BEATEN YOU!
MVP: Jonathan Quick - 2 GS • 2 W • 1 SO • 0.961 SV% • 38.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: Once upon a time, the Los Angeles Kings were consistently a bottom feeder (after falling from their 90s success). They returned, capturing 2 Mugs à la Stanley in a three year span. I'm sure in ten (and twelve) years you will win championships.
#5 RED DEER BLADES (4) 1-2
Before I roast this team, I should mention that things are looking up. The additions of Mabcock and Kolland are key; the presence of both men will be felt, despite a more than probable loss this upcoming week in Grand Rapids.
Now, I'm about to set this team on fire like a certain house just off Bathurst.
You are lucky your jerseys are so MAGNIFICENT. Because you really don't have anything else to garner any praise.
I said this to myself last week. I'll say it to you this week. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HIT 300 POINTS!
The Saturday (Oct. 25) was KILLER. The rest of the league averaged 83.1 points. You didn't hit 50. After the first night (Oct. 20), you had -4 points. You were in the NEGATIVE!
To be fair, so was the Sharvit squad, who rebounded from -0.4 to surpass 350 on the week. Although, the latter of the sentence separates him from you.
I don't want to say for certain you're going to be 1-3... but for certain, you're going to be 1-3. Don't bother wasting your precious grade 12 time on updating when you could be studying or doing other productive things that you absolutely won't do.
MVP: Lil' Joe Pavelski - 4 GP • 3 G (2 PPG) • 1 A • 11 SOG • 3 BLK • 34.1 FPTS
Reason for hope: You face Seattle and Dallas each four more times. I guarantee anywhere from four to eight more wins, depending on how well you do against the Diamonds.
#6 SEATTLE BLAZERS (6) 0-3
Woah. You really hung in there.
Okay, not really.
For the first 67% of the week, Seattle and Grand Rapids traded the lead so many times, I lost count. It's a good thing nobody really cares about the number.
You can also thank Johnny Gaudreau for not getting a hat trick, like his benched counterpart James Neal. The matchup would have been put away right then and there.
I would recommending tanking again, because it's clear this team is heading nowhere. Problem is, the league starts fresh next year.
Darn. You could have really put yourself in a good spot.
You finally dropped Bernier and Reimer, for Scrivens, who has won four in a row. Now nobody can laugh at you. I would applaud you, but I'm mad since I can't laugh at your Toronto goalies. The attention in that area may turn to Milwaukee.
There is a glimmer of hope as the Blazers take on the Dallas Diamonds, who are slowly coming back down to earth. Then again, the Diamonds are facing Seattle, so the hope may be all for naught.
MVP: Lots of guys stepped up, but I just had to go with Jeff Carter - 2 GP • 2 G (2 PPG) • 4 A (1 PPA) • 1 GWG • 39.2 FPTS
Reason for hope: Refer to last week's power rankings.
GUYS, PLEASE JUST PRETEND LIKE I FINISHED THESE SUNDAY NIGHT/MONDAY MORNING AND THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE READING THIS! PLEASE!